Forgiveness is when you stop feeling angry or resentful toward someone for an offense, flaw, or mistake. When someone comes to you and apologizes for something they’ve done, and you forgive them, that means you no longer hold it against them for their actions. You’ve released them from owing you a debt. You give up your right to hurt them for hurting you.
Forgiveness is not something we do for other people. We do it for ourselves - to get well and move on. Forgiving is a wise, freely chosen option that fosters the dignity of the persons who forgive. It is an expression of self-control over justifiably angry and/or vengeful impulses.
Forgiveness is giving up the hope that the past could have been any different. When you stop focusing on how the past could have been different, how it could have been better, you will find that you are more happy in the present. Forgiveness is an important aspect of that. You forgive others that hurt you in the past. You forgive yourself for making decisions that put you in hurtful situations.
Once you have rationally determined that you have been unfairly treated, you have a choice to make. You can burn with anger and look for any opportunity to get back at that person. The thing about burning with anger is that it usually causes you more pain than it does anyone else. You can also choose to forgive. The ability to forgive has been directly linked to lessening of depression and an increased amount of happiness in life.
You must remember that forgiving does not mean you condone or excuse the actions of others. You aren’t saying that it is ok to treat you that way. You are just saying that you will not allow the way you were treated to control your future or behavior. Forgiving does not mean you forget about what happened. Forgiving does not mean you are saying it is ok to treat you that way in the future. Forgiving is not for others, forgiving is for your own well-being.